I Can Help You There
by GloDrops
Summary: After the war people begin to heal. People start to go back to their routine. Hogwarts is open bringing a sense of normalcy back to the younger generations. Draco is haunted and on the precipice of breaking. Harry has healed but feels the creeping sense of of his demons at the ready for him to fall apart again. Can the unlikeliest of friends heal the wounds? I can help you there.
1. The Last Goodbye

Hello everyone. Glodrop here to give you a nice Drarry romance. First things first; I do not, under any law, own Harry Potter nor do I own the HP characters. This story contains male/male love and all that comes with it. It's rated M for a reason but I'm not just going to throw in sex just for the hell of it. This story will contain graphic stuff at some point but probably not what you're expecting. Have fun guys and hope to see you at the end of it all.

Chapter One: The Last Goodbye

I stand here on the edge. The scenery is beautiful. This time of year the trees are radiant in the falling light. The reds, oranges, and yellows glowed in the dying sunset.

You were golden to me.

You still are. Nothing could ever change that. I refuse to let my memories of you be dominated by the monster you became. Instead I remember you as the person I loved and adored. I'll never forget you were the person I couldn't save.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. Really? You were always distant from me. Even when things were great I felt the expanse between us. How did we ever fall in love? Sometimes I still think I was the only one in love. I think you just needed someone. Anyone. Even after all you put me through I don't regret it. There are few things I would want to change.

This isn't something you would want me to do. As much as we fought you never hit me. Sometimes I think that would have been easier. The scars on my heart from your words will take eons to heal. You still wouldn't want me here.

It's starting to get cold. I'm starting to shiver. You always held me when I was cold. It was one of the things that showed me you cared. Why did we ever fight? What was it about each of us that made the other crazy? There were those months where we were so good. What was different? That's the major thing I would change. I would pay attention and see what was different at that time.

I'm glad I came back here. I was worried I would miss you. The halls echoed our past as I walk them. I see faded ghosts of you everywhere. I guess the stone walls here do absorb parts of us. Sometimes I hate that. I usually find myself loving it. I think I like the way the haunting feeling hurts.

Everything about this place haunts me. Right down to the paintings in old hallways to the disappearing steps in the south tower corridors.

At this moment I do regret coming back. Fallen is my grace amongst my own. I expected the abuse from everyone else. Honestly I wish they would beat me up but that's not their way. We taught them how to properly destroy someone. It's painful not to exist in the common room anymore. The moon is rising now. Funny how no one notices or cares that I'm not around. The students of course couldn't care less if I'm here or there. The teachers are painfully neutral about my class work and methodically oblivious to the cuts and bruises and dark circles under my eyes. I can't blame them. I can't even bring myself to be angry anymore. At first… At first I was pissed. I glared at everyone. I was fighting back. That quickly changed.

Wanna know what's funnier? It was so easy to get here. This is where I started the fall. This is where I end it. I thought this place would be more protected. I thought this place would be honored? It's not used for class anymore. When I first came up here in the middles of September I expected a memorial or even a plaque but there was nothing. It still looked the same as that night. The stones were that same silky roughness that absorbed the moonlight.

I wish there was something here. There should be but then again my opinion is selfish. The lack of remembrance stunned me my first visit and I haven't had the drive to finish. Apathy sinks into my very flesh and bones. It flourishes in my blood to settle in my soul. That ends tonight. I've settled what little affairs I have and it's tonight.

I hope when they find my body that they don't think I chose today for melodramatic reasons. Halloween; it just felt appropriate. Why wait till the end of the year? I know it would give more time for those I wronged to punish me but why ruin the 7th and 8th years graduation? Let them have that moment. The wizarding community needs it.

I wish I knew why I'm writing this to you. Hell, I wish I knew why I'm writing this at all. Who _would_ want to read the last words of Draco Malfoy? They know my story now. They know about my abuse, my father's desperate attempts for power, my weakness for my dead mother, my role as the Death Eaters sex bitch. Even though my rotten garbage of a past got thrown about the papers and everyone in the court room got to see in vivid moving picture detail I'm glad it happened that way. It gave me the chance to do this here. I gave some people the chance to get even. For that I'm glad.

Blaise I'm so sorry you died. I'm so sorry you became so consumed by Voldemorts lies. I wonder sometimes if you could tell I wasn't a true believer. Is that why you would spit venom like you did? The days we didn't talk about it were so good. You were so sweet. Most importantly you were in control. You were the real leader and I think by the end of it everyone knew that. I think that why I still believed you loved me. I had started falling from power long before then and you kept me by your side.

I must do this now. The feast will be ending soon and I don't want the off chance of being stopped. Would anyone stop me? I don't think so. Not unless they killed me instead.

The height is dizzying up here. The cold wind from the north is as bitter as my tears. I never expected this of my life. I never wanted this darkness. I never wanted to hate mudbloods or Weasleys or Potter and definitely not Dumbledore.

I do want people to know that I never really did. If eyes ever see this letter to you, my darkest angel, I hope they realize I never wanted the role I inherited. I never wanted that senseless war.

My dearest Blaise I love you even if it's only because I only had you to love. You may have been my blackest secret but you were my favorite piece of corruption.

May this world be a better place.

D. Malfoy


	2. Proverbial Masks

Hello friends. Okay…. So I have no idea how to make sure my indents at the beginning of paragraphs work. Um… if ANYONE can send me a PM or say something in a review that would be awesome. :D I see this story have a follower. Hello! *waves from a distance* Just that little number one makes it worthwhile. If I can fix that first chapter I will once I find out what I'm doing wrong. Enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 2: Proverbial Masks

Harry sat on the roof of Hogwarts facing west near the Entrance Hall. The sky was beautiful here. The expanse of heaven was gorgeous. Harry played with the invisibility cloak between his fingers.

Today was a festive day for most people if the commotion in the Great Hall had anything to say. Halloween has always been a cheerful holiday at Hogwarts even during the darkest of times. For Harry it held fond memories but looking back after the war tainted them with sadness. His mind would wonder back to Nearly Headless Nick's Death Day party and the thrumming excitement of the coming foreign students. Those were times before the war. They were times before the thundering crash.

Times of false peace.

Harry heaved a heavy sigh that felt as if it started in his toes. It was cold but he stayed. He enjoyed feeling the chill rest on his skin as he watched the moon come up over Hogsmead. The smoke from the Three Broomsticks ghosted over the pale expanse illuminating a road of ash and soot to the stars. This dance was not new to him. He often found himself here with the Marauder's Map in his bag his invisibility cloak dancing and curling in his fingers. He needed to escape. Harry flopped back onto the shingles with another sigh escaping his lungs. Why did he always feel so suffocated these days? It felt as if with every burdened exhale the struggles of holding together during the day was released and the blessed cool air could finally ease his weary heart.

One more sigh escapes his frozen lips as he pulls himself to straighten his back and reach above his head. As he always does before he leaves Harry checks the open map and searches for his friends in the Great Hall.

"Really guys? Again?" he mutters to the northern wind.

Ron and Hermione finally recognized their love for one another. Harry was happy for them. Honest. The thing was that all the past years of not being together rushed them with adoration and the war passing made it all the worse. As much as it pleased Harry for them to come to terms with how they're made for each other it also made him feel more alone.

After things started to fall into place after the Battle of Hogwarts Ginny approached him at the Burrow's rebuild asking him if the time was right for them. His answer hung in silence between them. He couldn't look at her as a whispered no replaced it. She shed only one lone tear and he shed none.

That was all there was between them.

It didn't take long after coming back to Hogwarts that she started dating again. She went through boys like tissues. All the boys desired her and she desired them. Ginny seemed happy. Ron said she was enjoying herself. She even confronted him a week after term started and said she was over him and that she hoped he would soon get over the war.

How does one get over a war?

Well, it seemed Ron and Hermione have. Often when he hoped that they would be in the common room available to talk they would be in a lost classroom doing what war united lovers do. Harry was really happy for them.

Harry felt like he was floating after the war. His soul reason for being was deceased by his hand. As much as he hated attention he didn't know what people would expect from him now. He always had a blueprint. There was always a drive to conquer evil. Now though, it was something he didn't want to do anymore. Harry was tired of fighting and even more so of the darkness.

He was exhausted of thinking. It's what consumed most of his time. After his victory against Voldemort people were afraid of him again. Well, maybe not afraid but being named "most powerful wizard in the U.K." can make people wary of being around you for some reason or another.

Harry could hear the dull roar of the feast but it was getting late. Soon the celebrating would be over. Students would be shuffling back to their respective houses. Roles will be put back into action including his own. His felt like a lie.

Hermione seemed to see past it sometimes. She'd catch his eyes at breakfast and frown, ask him at random times if he was okay, and even went as far as to corner him after Magical Creatures a couple of weeks ago and demanded he tell her what was wrong.

How do you tell your friends you're lonely? How do you tell your friends you feel like your life is empty without a psycho, Hitler-like, magically powerful murderer in your life? How do you tell people you love that you're scared of never finding love? He was never sure f Ginny truly loved him or the hero. He felt even more unsure about anyone in the future. He wasn't sure about anything in his future anymore.

Harry shook his head to try and clear his thoughts. He stood and stretched. The moon was bright and hung heavy in the sky. He reached up as if he could touch it. If only he felt like he could escape that far away. He felt so different from everyone else including his friends. They had dreams beyond evil, darkness, and Voldemort. Harry never believed that he would have a future beyond Voldemort. He never planned for a post-war wizarding world.

He started packing his things. No one ever bothered him after hours so he always stuffed everything in his bag. The teachers never minded. The now Headmistress McGonagal would always give him a hug when she would run into him late at night in the corridors. She would whisper "Get some rest my dear" and be on her way. He had a feeling rest was hard to come by for her too.

He looked to the stars one last time and gave a slight smile. The wonders of the world were not lost to him and for that he was grateful. He had the coming excitement of taking care of Teddy after graduation. This, Harry guessed, was another reason not to become an Auror. As the cosmos twinkled at him a full-fledged smile shined back. Teddy was defiantly a reason to keep going. He couldn't believe how much the thought of that made him happy.

A shiver caressed his skin as he made a move to leave when an out of place noise caught his attention. He turned; facing the Astronomy Tower to see a paper crane flying his way. He walked forward to meet it and let it land in his hand.

"Are you for me?" he asked it. "I bet Hermione sent you. Finally realized I was missing after their session, yea?"

He gently unfolded it to make sure the fragile parchment would tear. He hoped the fact that she folded it so nicely was because she was in a good mood. It was either that or she was trying to butter him up to talk about his feelings.

He finally got the puzzle of a letter unfolded. The many pages were crumpled but readable in the light of the moon. As he started to read it his eyes widened. Ice and lead filled his body as he desperately searched for a name. He went on instinct alone with a swift "accio firebolt" on his breath. In a moment the letter was stuffed in a pocket, bag on his back, and standing stock still waiting for his broom. The seconds turned into thundering hours. Harry's mind started playing tricks on him as time sped up and his broom seemed to teleport to him from the Quidditch Pitch lockers.

As much as he knew it all took place in two or so minuets it felt as if it wasn't fast enough. Harry took off hoping he wasn't too late.


	3. A Need for Saving

Hello Everyone! I'm sorry I have been posting regularly. I started a new full time job and I've been trying to get my schedule set up to where I can have time to post. I've been writing this story for a while and have chapters written but getting them transferred to takes time. XD I hope you guys like chapter 3!

Chapter 3: A Need for Saving

Draco folded his letter slow and calm. The calm was the best. It soaked into his chest and started melting his pain. It was time and it felt right. He was ready.

Stepping to the edge he kissed the top of the paper crane and muttered the spell to make the parchment come to life. He watched it fly away with the threat of tears burning the backs of his eyes. With a shuddering inhale Draco felt the hot tears escape and trickle down his face. Relief and sadness washed over him as he pulled himself up on the ledge. Gasping sobs betrayed him as he tried to hold them back. He stood straight and wiped his eyes. Draco was determined to go down strong even if it was only for himself.

He looked down at his fate. The mix of ground and roof tops swam in front of him. The crystalline tears dripping from the corners of his eyes weren't helping. Draco looked up one last time at the moon.

"I'm so sorry. I hope the world will heal from this disaster."

He could see the smoke rise from Hogsmead. Madame Rosmerta smiled into his thoughts. He was happy she survived. He was even happier to hear that she was doing well after the rebuild of Hogsmead. He was forbidden from the town but news still got back to him. Hearing of her recovery was one of the last things to make him smile.

Draco took a sweeping gaze over Hogwarts. The castle has been good to him. Guilt consumed him as his 6th year flashed before his eyes. Tear rushed silently to fall down his cheeks one last time.

"I'm sorry I betrayed you old friend," he whispered.

Then he jumped.

Draco felt like he was flying but even more uninhibited. The rush of ground racing toward him brought a smile to his face and laughter pouring out of him. As joyous as he was instinctual fear and the bitter cold demanded that he close his eyes. Soon it would be over. Fuck whatever may be beyond life. At least he could say he chose to be punished in the afterlife. Maybe there he could be redeemed.

Just when he wondered if he would even feel the moment of his passing he felt the world hit his body and into darkness he fell.

Harry's heart was thundering in his chest but it felt like it was barely beating at all. He was conscious of every thump echoing between his ears. Harry wanted to speed in the direction the letter came from but he wasn't sure of its original location.

What was Malfoy thinking? Harry understood not wanting to fight anymore. He understood the allure of wanting it to end but he also had people to live for. As much as Ron and Hermione were distant at the moment he knew it would come back to being somewhat normal. Not to mention the whole Weasley clan. He knew they loved him and saw him as family even when he didn't get back together with Ginny. The most important person in his life was Teddy. Andromeda didn't need to be taking care of a child at her age. He health after the war was failing her and Harry was more than happy to take on the role as full time Godfather. It was only right. He already loved Teddy as his own. Being away at school far from him killed Harry.

Did Malfoy have no one and nothing to live for? Did the war take that much away from him? Did he really lose absolutely everything?

Just as Harry began to lose all hope for stopping Malfoy's demise he hear laughter. Harry immediately turned his broom in the direction of the sound. The astronomy tower. Of course.

Malfoy was falling; plummeting to the grounds of Hogwarts. Harry's veins flushed with adrenalin. He dove; pushing his brrom to the limit. The wind bit at his skin. Heart hammering in his chest and hands shaking he reached out. Malfoy fell into him face first. The force alone knocked the broom down a few more feet. Harry struggled to regain control. He was sure his broom had broke but luckily it stayed strong. Malfoy was passed out. He adjusted him in his arms using one to cradle his back, resting his head on his shoulder, and the broom to support his legs. Using his knees and free hand Harry steered them to the nearest landing. Harry knew he was panicing. With his mind racing, worrying about Malfoy, he couldn't fend off the shaking that took over his limbs.

Landing felt like a miracle even though he collapsed on the stone floor. Harry didn't care. They had something beneath them and that's all that was important. Malfoy wasn't falling to his death anymore and that's all that was important.

He laid Malfoy on the floor of the spire they were on. For the first time since the trials Harry took in Draco Malfoy. The ministry regulated sweat pants and sweater were to big for him. He lost even more weight since the trials. Malfoy's body looked frail and his skin lost its glowing vibrancy. If Harry didn't know better it was almost like looking at a ghost in the moonlight. His hair was dull but pooled around his head as if a halo. He looked the part of a fallen angel. He was covered in cuts and bruises. Scars littered his pale skin which meant he never saw Madame Pomfrey for any of it.

The thought of Madame Pomfrey lit Harry's mind back into action. He checked for a pulse. Thank Merlin there was one and he was breathing. Did he just faint? Did the catch knock him out? Panic started to set in again. Harry started gasping for air. His chest tightened.

"MALFOY! Malfoy you gotta wake up. Please. I can't lose anyone else."

He gave Malfoy a shake. Desperation started to drive his actions. His shaking of, both himself and Malfoy, became more violent.

"Dammit Malfoy." His voiced cracked. "For the love of God you have to get up!"

For some reason one of Aunt Petunia's old romance movies where the man slaps the woman out of hysteria popped into his mind and he slapped Malfoy. It could work right? It did not. The sound though snapped Harry's panic mode back to reality and he remembered he was a wizard. He quickly cast rennervate at Malfoy's chest amd waited.

There was a gasp for air. The shallow rise and fall of his chest became more prominent; more aware. Harry took in his own deep breath to replace what he had been holding. Malfoy's eyes opened and just stared up at the sky. He stayed that way for a while. Harry had no idea how long they sat there. Harry was on his knees beside Malfoy as he looked into the cosmos. He just waited.


	4. I Can Help You There

Hello my lovely followers! I'm back again for chapter 4! Who's ready? I hope you'll be happy to hear that I'm going to start making my chapters longer. I realized I was making each small scene it own chapter which is rather shot but I think for these few it was the right way to go. Like I said I write these chapters a head of time chapter by chapter in a notebook I carry with me anywhere. I'm currently working on chapter 6 and I can't wait till I can type it up. Thanks again for making my silly little fanfiction a small success. You guys are wonderful. Also, if you ever want to follow me on tumblr I may even make a small blog dedicated to some of my fanfiction related things such as fan art, great authors, fanfiction reviews on the whole and what not. If anyone is interested just send me a message. And I always follow back. And if you write let me know. :) That is all.

Chapter 4: I Can Help You There

"Am I alive?" Draco croaked out. Harry saw tears threatening his eyes but the real giveaway was in his voice.

"Yes." Was all Harry could muster after realizing Malfoy had spoken to him.

"Potter if that's you I'm going to lose it. I swear if I look over and I see black hair and glasses I'm going to scream."

Draco was serious. When he came to and saw the same night sky that he just said goodbye to his mind just froze. He was supposed to be dead; smashed against the ground like the insect that he was. Yet here he was looking at the night sky of Hogwarts. Was he alive? He felt alive. His senses felt alive. When he wanted to vocalize the question his voice sounded alive. The answer to his questioned was replied with a voice he recognized in a heartbeat and his world shattered. Venom coursed though him. Despair took over his voice. Hot tears burned as he sat up and looked over at Potter.

"Why?" He rasped. "Why did you stop me? Why did it have to be you? Why is my life so fucked?!" He was finally at the point of screaming. "Why are you so ingrained in my fucking life? What in the world possessed you to save me this time, huh? Where the bloody hell have you been? Where were you and Weasel when people started queing up to beat as much Death Eater out of me as they can? I think everyone else other than Luna has." Draco was full on crying now. He didn't care if he looked wretched. "Why didn't you just let me die!"

Harry just couldn't find the words. He'd never seen Malfoy this broken. Not even in 6th year in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom was he this in pieces.

"You don't deserve to die."

"Fuck that Potter! I deserve to have some damn peace in my life! Fuck the money! Fuck the houses! Fuck blood status! I'm done Potter!" Draco got close to Harry's face. "I want to die Potter. What do I have to live for? I never had friends; just pureblood children told not to be friends with anyone else. Then, oh Saint Potter, I went home to a father that cared more about me being a perfect pureblood than a kid and a mother to scared to stand up for me. She must have finally had it to lie to Voldemort. Now, even though everyone knows what hell I've been through and my real motivations for my shitty actions, I get beat daily by someone or another. It's like I'm back at the manor all over again. Tell me Potter do I not deserve to die? I don't think I can take anymore atonement. Can't I just rest now? The world will be a better place without one more Death Eater scum." Draco sighed. "Please Potter go away. I gotta see if I can be brave one more time."

Harry just stood there in shock as Malfoy wiped his eyes dejectedly and turned to face the astronomy tower resting his head in his hands. His heart clenched. This was to much for him. Harry couldn't take it.

"Malfoy, you deserve to live in peace. If I hadn't already believed that life dealt you a pretty unfair deal I wouldn't have defended you in court. I saw you lower your wand, Malfoy. I saw you recognize me and lie. Not only lie but lie to your father. You saved our lives. You practically handed me your wand. Without you I don't know if we would have made it. Malfoy, you have atoned for your crimes. I'm the one that asked for your sentence served. I'm sorry that people won't let it go. I'm sorry they blame you for things other have done. You never killed anyone and if 6th year is anything to go by you never wanted to. You don't deserve the people punishment. You've been punished enough. Things will never be normal for any of us so I can't say you should have a normal life. I can say, though, that you deserve a good life. You deserve a second chance and a chance to heal." Harry took a few steps towards Malfoy. "Talk to someone about what's going on. Isn't there anyone who can help you?"

"Potter," Draco sighed, "who the hell is going to help me? Slughorn pretends I don't even exist. Honestly Potter who is there for me to go to? It's selfish of me to even think I deserve to be help or to live a happy life. I…"

"I'll help you." The words were out of his mouth before he even thought about it.

Draco looked at him skeptically and laughed as he fully turned to face him. "And why, Saint Potter, would you want to help me? No matter what small gems of good I did in that senseless war I was still a bully to you and your friends. You, of all people, should know I'm not one for pity."

"Malfoy, I believe in second chances. I know things will never be the same but we all need a chance to heal. I forgave you a long time ago. I see how similar our stories are and I can relate. We just ended up on different sides of the spectrum. The treatment you got made you a bully in need of some control. Likewise mine made me modest, shy, with a complete lack of self confidence." Harry leaned against the rail looking over the edge then back at Draco.

"Malfoy, giving up on you, or treating you like dirt would be like I was doing it to myself. I want to help you Malfoy. Maybe we can help each other."

"You're serious?"

"Very."

"How? How do you plan on helping me?"

"I don't know yet."

They just stood there side by side in silence and for once they both felt comfortable, safe, and oddly at peace. Draco couldn't tell how long they stood there watching the moon rise over the castle. Draco looked over at Potter. It unnerved him how still he was. Potter was a person of constant movement. Seeing him stand as if he were marble was unusual and stunning. As soon as the thought struck him green eyes caught him staring.

"I think I know where we can start." Harry moved to face Draco and extended his hand. "You'll soon find out that some wizards are much nicer than others, Malfoy. I can help you there."

Draco didn't know which was funnier; that fact that he could hear the obnoxious voice of his 11 year-old self or the shit eating proud grin on Potter's face for being able to quote their second meeting. Draco's laughter was echoed among the rooftops to be joined by Harry's. It felt good for both of them to laugh so honestly and freely.

"You know what Potter?' Malfoy said between dying chuckles. "I can't remember the last time I've laughed."

Draco hardened himself again and looked Harry in the eyes. "Thank you. I mean it. I… I don't know and can't promise my life. I don't know if I'm strong enough to not leap off the astronomy tower again. Potter, I accept your friendship." Draco offered up his hand to shake Harry's.

After that Harry promised to owl Draco to meet again soon to talk more about what to do next. The newness of their relationship felt strange and awkward, but, at least for Draco, it left a flutter of hope in his heart. For the first time Draco smiled before he fell asleep. That night he slept without the stain of nightmare and had dreams about flying again.


End file.
